Season 14 - Week 1

Are you all nicely settled? Some of you will be in new leagues, some of you will not have even noticed that there are new league names, with Kenny and Gazza drifting into the WP box with late runs.   If you’re sitting comfortably I’d like to tell you a story, a story about two cooks, some sheepdip and a mystery. One day two cooks (Daniel and Darryn) decided that they wanted to lead Weekend Predictor, they did so by picking draws in the Atletico Madrid and Hull games, they were joined at the dop by Craig the Sheepdip and F.T.J who also successfully picked draws in the Crystal Palace game. What F.T.J stands for is a mystery, my guess is Fly to Jupiter, further guesses are welcome on the forum. The End. I didn’t say it was a good story!

I hate doing the analysis in week 1, there is so little to say, let’s see who let us down this week. 4 people though Villa would do Wolves, 4 people thought Rangers would do Hibernian (and 1 person thought the other way!) they were all fooled by the draw. 3 fools though that Ipswich would finally get a win, our survey says eee ore. 4 people didn’t give Liverpool a chance against Man U (myself included) and got it horribly wrong, and 3 people thought Burnley would continue their home form against Wigan.

Alright I’m out of ideas of things to write. Why don’t we fill the time by having a go at these, answers on the forum please:

Phillip Neville said that 'The yolk of the egg are white' Gary Neville said that ‘The yolk of the egg is white'? Which Neville brother was right.

Three boxes are delivered to the training ground, one contains only apples, one contains only oranges, and one contains both apples and oranges.  The boxes have been incorrectly labeled such that no label identifies the actual contents of the box it labels.  Opening just one box, and without looking in the box, you take out one piece of fruit.  By looking at the fruit, how can you immediately label all of the boxes correctly. Which box did you open and how can you be sure to label all boxes correctly?

Alex Ferguson walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. Alex says 'Thank you' and walks out, why?

A visiting Premiership manager rode into town on Friday. He stayed for three nights and then left on Friday. How come?

George Burley is heating his coffee in a small microwave oven. He puts it in for exactly two minutes. He then opens the door, closes it, then heats his coffee for two more seconds. Why?

One morning before an important European Cup game an man comes running up to Arsene Wenger and says “Boss, don't take your planned flight today! I had a dream last night that if you do, your plane will crash and you'll die." Arsene fires the man. Why?

Roy Keane is lying in bed unable to sleep. He makes a phone call, saying nothing, and then goes to sleep.

“Freak accident takes out youth team player” this headline appeared in the local paper after one of the youth team was walking down a road when a stone lodged itself between his foot and his sandal. He leaned against a pole and, with his head down to watch, he shook his foot to dislodge the stone. Another man came up and broke the first man's arm in three places. Why?


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